Blessed

This blog is one that is hard for me to write. Its hard because I try to downplay our situation as much as possible and its hard because I dont like to admit how much I feel like a failure. Since moving to California, life has been harder. We have been here for almost 6 months already and Bud has yet to find a stable full time job. The economy in California is horrid. I have days where I wonder if I made the right decision moving here, and I have days I feel like I have made a horrible mess of my families lives. However, what my kids have lost in money and extras they have gained in love and support. I still struggle everyday with my decision and know that someday we may have to make the decision to return to Texas. For now we tough it out here.
For those of you who truly know Bud and I, know that we have never been religious people. I believe in God, but never believed in religion. I was raised in a Baptist church where I was taught that Baptist were the only ones who believed the "right" way, Santa was just another form of Satan, and if you didnt go to church on Sunday, you were sent to hell. I went to a private school full of Sunday Christians, that bullied kids during the week, but then were sweet as pie to them on Sunday. I eventually stopped going to church all together and definitely lost my spirituality.
Recently a friend recommended an author to me and suggest I read his books. She knew I was looking for a good read and thought I would enjoy his stories. I picked up the book she recommended at my local library and read it in 2 hours. Not only did it (in her words) give me the "warm fuzzies", but it also reawakened my sense of spirituality. Since I read the first of his books I have read a total of 6 of his books, all in the matter of a little over one week.
About the same time Bud started his community service. We are currently receiving federal aid and it requires Bud do 36 hours a week of community service. On Monday, we headed over to a local church to ask if they had any work for Bud to do his community service. Of all places that he could do his service, we both felt pulled in this direction. We met with the pastor, who offered to help Bud with his service. Bud and I went home and discussed how we both felt a strong spiritual pull to maybe start attending church. We decided we would attend church on Sunday.
I have to add that I have been stressed to the max lately. Son #1 has a birthday coming up next month, Daughter wants to participate in extra curricular activities (which of course cost money), school pictures needed to be purchased, and Christmas is fast approaching. I have done everything in my power for my kids to not feel or be affected by our current situation, but it is becoming harder and harder. I find my self praying daily that something will happen soon so that our situation improves.
Today as Bud did his community service, the pastor approached him and asked to speak with him in his office.  He told Bud that the church is adopting our family for Christmas and the kids gifts would be taken care of. He also told him that they planned on advertising his computer repairs in the newsletter. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. We both agree that we have found the church we will be attending.
Is our situation improving because our family is turning back to a more spiritual life? Honestly, I think so and I am grateful that burdens are becoming easier to bear. I feel blessed to have found my spirituality again, and to have found this wonderful group of people who are helping a family in need.